Random Aging Thoughts

I look at my life in many different ways. Lately I can see lack of success--lack of accomplishments: Not as many people knowing what I do as I would like. But what is the goal? I have always hoped there would be people who repected my work and they would be people I respected. Not rock-star size groups or acclaim just acknowlegement. I have performed music in churches since I was in Grade school,masses, weddings , funerals,sacraments, etc. At good times and bad times in peoples lives many people thanked me and complimented me. So I can say whether people know my name or not, maybe I've had positive effects. I still remember incidents: Some very sad: two tiny caskets coming down the aisle; Or a high schol girl dying of heart trouble at gym, and a very fragile best girlfriend seated next to the coffin for two or three days. There were also Weddings that the couples thought would never happen and baptisms of infants so tiny and fragile And 75th weding anniversaries of couples surrounded by an Abrahamesque family, and I knew all they wanted was to dance and kiss at the celebration. I was deeply moved at many Christmas Eves and Good Fridays.I sang at my father's funeral when I was 17 and at my Mother's 39 years later. But I have written hundreds of pieces of music---music that, at the time, occupied my every moment--- that very few people have heard or care about. I think of that music as a message about me; Music has been my bones all my life. From the time I was three, sitting next to my mother at the piano, until this very day, the piano has been the main focus of my life. There have not been many days That I didn't touch a keyboard. When I was 7 I found a tablet of blank music paper and I have been putting notes on paper ever since. Of course with this came a lot of time alone. I'm most comfortable among people who are close but not too close.There are women who knew me but didn't know me very well. Friends in spite of me. And God. There has always been a God surrounding me. in my life. (More posts to follow>)