Words and Actions

A year or so ago, while reading and writing blogs about the shape of my spirituality, I gave up, saying that If I really wanted to know who I was and what I believe, all I had to do was ask people who spend time with me what they thought was important to me. After all, does it really matter what I read and agree with, if it doesn’t translate into what affects people.
So here I am now, on the verge of a new Lenten season and approaching a milestone birthday, coming off a couple of year’s personal exile. “Acedia” is the term the Desert Fathers of early Christianity used to refer to a complete lack of investment in faith, work or world. And I fear I have fallen prey to this malaise. And any of the medications I take seem to be mere maintainance.
Lately, I’ve been really hibernating, staying very much to myself. No little result------just killing time with little to interest me.
So the question------the challenge, really --- is to rise up, respond and produce.
I have never been goal-oriented,; I’m into immediate gratification. So I need to find an agenda which will produce quick, but worthwhile results. Something that will get me out of bed with the first bird of morning and hint of sunrise. I have continued to do little music sketches and I know I can’t live without touching the piano and writing notes on music paper.
I have been concentrating so much on things that seem to block my way, instead of secret pathways leading to where I will be satisfied.
Yes, there are my blogs. But I don’t feel much response. I have only a few treasured musician friends, but again little response to fuel my ambition.
Finally, from the time of ancient greeks , music has had two purposes: order(as in a type of internal astronomy), and as a tool of seduction. Heads up girls.