"Will you turn off that damn oldies station?!!"

What do you call it when someone you have not seen in 40 years opens a FACEBOOK account and sends a recent picture along with an invite to join and be her "friend"?




Perhaps a malicious attempt to rob me of desperately needed sleep for a week or more?

What do you call someone who, it would appear, has not aged in 40 years?
A vampire, that's correct.










Now, why would a vampire send me her luscious picture out of the blue? Maybe so that while I'm catching up on much-needed sleep she will sneak in and suck all my blood and other precious bodily fluids out of me, the same way she tore my heart out with her bare hands when I came in fifth in a five boy competition for her attention. Well, it won't work. Or will it?


To show I can take it---that's right!--- here's that picture again. That's me top left, and my girlfriend at the time is bottom right. I broke up with her so I could pursue the one who later became an ageless vampire. Little did I know they would use my life as the basis for this season's "The Bachelor".